its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
