Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
