I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
