You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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