It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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