It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
