Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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