I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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