He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
