you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
