yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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