I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
