Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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