I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
