Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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