we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
