champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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