if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
