hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
