There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
