If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
