If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
