can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
