He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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