i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
