...so i touched it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
