I am puke
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
