He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
nutella sex= disaster
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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