is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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