Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
