Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
