you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
