Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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