On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
