I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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