I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
