honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm at about main and main street
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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