I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
