I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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