he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
