so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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