Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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