eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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