i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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