just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
