I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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