that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
