marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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