I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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