I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
