Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
