i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
