Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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