I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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