i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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